If you are a parent who is suddenly experiencing sleep issues with a little one who is around 4 months old, you may have heard of a little something called the 4-month sleep regression. Well, today you’re going to learn a lot more about the four month sleep regression/progression.

Here’s the rub: this juncture in a baby’s life is less of a sleep regression and more of a developmental progression. But will understanding this difference help you get through this period of hyper sleep disruption? Read on to learn more.

Tip #1: Understand that this significant change in your baby’s sleep pattern is permanent.

Unlike other common sleep regressions at 8-10 months, 12 months, 18 months and 2 years, your baby will not simply go back to sleeping as they were before the 4-month sleep regression hit. Somewhere between 3.5 to 5 months of age, your baby will start to cycle through periods of light and deep sleep, just as adults do. At the point of stirring awake from a normal sleep-wake cycle, a baby who has not learned independent sleep skills will become distressed at not being able to get themselves back to sleep. That’s when they’ll ask you – loudly – to help them out, and generally when parents start to up the ante and rock/bounce/feed their babies to seeming oblivion.

Tip #2: Celebrate the change brought by the four month sleep regression/progression.

Yup. As difficult as it may be to deal with a baby who is super wakeful and completely dependent on your help to get them to sleep, this four month sleep regression/progression marks a huge developmental milestone. Relish the fact that your little one is progressing and developing normally, and has reached a very significant time in his or her life. Breathe in that sweet baby smell just a little more deeply, and pat yourself on the back for doing a great job!

Tip #3: Once you’re done celebrating, make sure you have a plan in place for getting through it.

It is likely that your baby will be waking up very often overnight, and taking very short naps during the day. Lots of wakeful baby time combined with the physical effort of getting them to fall asleep means you’ll no doubt be exhausted. Line up support at home from sympathetic family members, friends or trained postpartum doulas. Take shifts with your partner overnight to ensure that neither of you bears the brunt of this sleep deprivation. Don’t schedule events or outings that require you to be alert. Most importantly, take care of yourself so that you have as much coping energy as you can possibly muster.

Tip #4: Make a long-term plan.

Unless you are easily surviving and thriving, you may want to think about how you’re going to deal on a longer-term basis. Again, the four month sleep regression/progression represents a permanent change in sleep habits. If you do nothing, your baby will eventually begin to sleep better. However, it is impossible to say how long it will take before that happens (it could be weeks, it could be months) and regardless, sleep will be unavoidably different post-progression. What worked for your baby before may not work anymore. 

This is a very good time to begin teaching your baby some independent sleep skills. The best way to do this is to identify and gradually wean your baby from any sleep associations (e.g., rocking to sleep), especially if these efforts are both more strenuous and less effective than before. Bonus: babies who learn independent sleep skills generally cope with future sleep regressions very well and relatively quickly. This is also a good time to make sure your baby’s sleep schedule is age appropriate and that they’re not overtired. The best way to do that is to follow age-appropriate awake windows, which are about 1.5 hours at 4 months old.

When to Start Sleep Coaching?

Families going through the sleep disruption of the four month sleep regression/progression often ask when exactly they should begin sleep coaching. My advice is to try a wait-it-out approach for one or two weeks, if you can manage that. If you’re still experiencing stormy sleep after that and would like to make a long-term plan, that would be a good time to do so.

Finally, whether you choose to remain in survival mode, or you take on the task of sleep coaching, the four month sleep progression is a rite of passage for all parents. So, remember – you are not alone!