Before you get too disheartened (Seriously? Another sleep regression!?), let’s get one thing out of the way – unlike the 4-month sleep regression, this one is temporary. Your baby will get back to sleeping well again. Here are 5 tips for mastering the 8-10-month sleep regression so that you and your baby come out of it unscathed.
Tip #1: Brace yourself – but take comfort in knowing that this is only temporary
This regression can hit your baby any time between 8 to 10 months. It’s associated with 1) key developmental milestones and 2) separation anxiety. While you’re watching in awe as they learn to crawl. Pull up to standing. Cruise along your furniture. Understand you and communicate more… they’re super excited by these developments and want to practice them. All. The. Time. Including when they’re supposed to be sleeping. Their little brains are also on overdrive through these developmental leaps. That can cause them to be both overtired and more aware. This is, obviously, a super amazing combination that leads to ‘look Ma, no sleep’.
This is also the time that many babies go through a period of separation anxiety. In a nutshell, as they’re working on gaining more independence by getting themselves to where they want go (yippee!), they’re also looking over their shoulder to make sure you’re still there. This can cause sleepy time anxiety, as they’re learning that you still exist when you leave. But take heart – once they learn that you’re coming back, and once their fascination with practicing their newfound mobility wears off, you’ll get your sleeping baby back. Probably. More on that later.
Tip #2: Consistency will get you through, every time
Along with increased awareness and excitability comes a big step backward in the sleeping department. Your baby will suddenly seem unable to get themselves to sleep, or stay asleep. The things that worked for them before suddenly don’t anymore. They’ll fight or skip their naps, fight bedtime, and – if they weren’t doing so before – may even be waking up overnight again. The best approach you can take to all of this is to stay consistent. Whatever you decide your response to their wakefulness will be, make sure you’re ready to repeat that over and over and over again. It’s unfair to keep babies guessing, so be sure to stay focused and consistent throughout this regression.
If your baby has been sleeping well on his own, but throughout this regression you’ve suddenly had to go in and check on him or rub his back, shush him or even pick him up, don’t be afraid that you’re creating “bad habits”. Just keep giving him the comfort he needs, along with the opportunity to put himself back to sleep. Consistency will also help tame their separation anxiety. Give them lots and lots of attention, affection and reassurance, throughout the day but especially before naps and bedtime.
Tip #3: Avoid the temptation to “fix” this
This will wash over, I assure you. In the meantime, resist the temptation to make any major, permanent changes for a temporary blip in sleep. Don’t drastically change your bedtime routine, move your baby’s bedtime much later or earlier, change their sleeping environment or make any other significant sleep changes. One caveat to this: if you’ve been working on dropping the 3rd nap, stay the course. This is an excellent time to land on a 2-nap schedule with your baby.
Sometimes this transition can worsen the effects of the 8-10-month sleep regression because there is the risk of baby becoming overtired. Just make sure you’re giving them plenty of time to catch up on sleep by moving naps and bedtime earlier as needed. If your baby has mastered independent sleep skills (i.e., they’re able to fall asleep on their own, without your help) or even if you’ve been working with them on this with some success, resist the temptation to start helping them again by rocking them, feeding them, or bouncing them back to sleep.
Tip #4: Don’t go over, under or around this regression – go directly through it
It may seem scary to encourage the behaviours that are part of why this regression is happening in the first place, but doing so will help you get through this more easily. Practice, practice, practice – crawling, pulling up to standing, cruising and walking, whatever it is they’re working on. Make it a fun game with your baby, and spend lots of time on this during the day. But as with anything related to your baby, don’t overdo it. Even if they resist, keep allowing them the opportunity to take those all-important naps and make sure they’re as well-rested as possible throughout the day.
Tip #5: Wherever you go, there you are
Once you’re through the 8-10-month sleep regression, take some time to assess your progress. Did you come through this unscathed after a couple of weeks? If so, awesome! Is your baby back to sleeping well or are you still having major sleep issues weeks later? This regression can definitely take a few weeks to unwind out of, especially if your baby hasn’t yet solidified their independent sleep skills. Now is as good a time as any to start teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own, if that’s what you’d like to do. (You don’t have a sleep issue until you believe you do – if you’re happy to continue rocking/feeding/bouncing them to sleep, keep up the good work!).
The best way to do this is to identify and gradually wean them from whatever they are relying on to get them to sleep (e.g., rocking to sleep). Remember that whatever your baby needs to fall asleep at bedtime, will be needed again if they happen to wake up overnight. Whatever they need to fall asleep at the beginning of a nap, will be needed again when they stir awake after one sleep-wake cycle. A baby who has learned how to fall asleep on their own, though, can get themselves back to sleep without becoming distressed or crying. Sound like a dream? I promise you, it can happen! And without all the tears you might be afraid of, either.
Bonus – Tip #6: Don’t forget yourself in the equation
Finally, make sure you’re taking care of you during any period of sleep disruption. Recruit help or tag team to make sure you’re getting enough time to eat well, get outside, rest and recharge. Remember that you’re the foundation that your babies are built on, and they need you to take care of you as much as they need you to take care of them.
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Want to set yourself up for success before this regression hits, by teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own? Whether you’re preparing for or already feeling the effects of the 8-10-month sleep regression, I’ve got you covered. Take a look at our packages here to see how we can help.